my body isnt a temple my body is a castle with a moat and crocodiles and a dragon who will set you on fire if you touch me
Some people have these like fandom specific blogs and then there’s me:
my parents definitely did not raise me to be a queer feminist filled with the wrath of a thousand enraged dragons and yet here i am
its so hard to be positive when you’re bleeding from your vagina
there’s a grief that can’t be spoken
there’s a pain goes on and on
the day i get married, i am going to plant a pear tree, and after the tree starts producing, i’m going to put my arm around my husband, hold up one of the pears and say “we make a great pear”
*policeman voice* alright sir im going to have to ask you a few questions. *pulls out notepad* where did you come from? where did you go? *slams fists on interrogation table* where DID you come from cotton eyed joe?
i was looking up synonyms for masturbation and one of them was “dropping stomach pancakes” and it still haunts me
one of my main nicknames courtesy of my family is “emmy” and my uncle was like “what if you marry a guy named anthony whose nickname is tony then you’d be emmy and tony”
and then “what if his last name was award”
and then my cousin put in “if you have a son you could name him oscar”
emmy, tony, and oscar award
oh my god
OKAY. THIS SHIRO MAKEUP STUFF IS PROBABLY ONE OF THE
WEIRDESTBEST THINGS ON THE PLANET
So to fucking start they have fucking Hobbit eyeshadow
trust me tho, it gets better.
They have fucking Hunger Games and Pokemon?!
But if that wasn’t enough, they have fucking Moon Moon, Tardis, and Leonardo Dicaprio eyeshadow
AND YOU GET FREE CANDY. IM REALLY COMNFUSED
they also have ‘Nic Cage Raking Leaves on a Brisk October Afternoon’